And I Wonder...

So many things to be pissed/stressed about!  First of all, I think either my iPod fell out of my pocket or someone stole it.  I thought I brought it in my jacket pocket Friday to school, and there are times when I’m not in my room.  I hate to be this way, but I’ve heard other teachers saying they’ve found things their kids have stolen and that just makes me LIVID.  Now I don’t want to jump the gun on this, but it was that iPod shuffle I bought specifically for running.  Now I have to carry around my stupid huge one and I can’t clip it on my clothes when I run.  Not only THAT but I bought new headphones for it and now THEY’RE lost too.  THEN.  I got my Mizzou Music magazine in the mail today and I was definitely left out of the alumni/recent grad section…not a big deal if you’re from a huge school, but there weren’t a lot of people that graduated this past year with me…so that’s irritating and definitely hurt my feelings.  I wrote an email to the editor (who is also the director of the school of music) about where I’m working now and that I was left out.  Fortunately he wrote back about 20 min. later apologizing and saying they’d print it in the next edition.  THEN.  I got a large peppermint mocha from McDonald’s on my way home from choir b/c I have a shit ton of stuff to do for school this week so I’m gonna need to stay up late.  As soon as I got home, my hand hit the cupholder the wrong way and the ENTIRE CUP OF COFFEE spilled on the floor of my car.  I ran to the front door to get paper towels, but of course it was locked.  I left my keys in my car so I had to knock so my roommate could let me in.  She seemed annoyed that she had to open the door for me andomgsomanyissueswiththatdon’tevenwanttotypeitall a;kfjo;i4qryt734arwy8;hloweJKFHSAIH;oifsahilfnsdam

I think she’s pissed that I have a hard time keeping the place clean.  I’m sorry that I can’t just fuck around when I get home, I actually have to do real work and there’s simply not enough hours in the day to do the things I need to do.  If I’m not prepared for the next day, it still will come and I’ll have to bullshit a lesson which is a HORRIBLE feeling.  So, sorry if my laundry isn’t all the way done.  Sorry if I have piles of papers and books.  Sorry that I haven’t cleaned the bathroom yet.  Ughhhhhh passive aggressiveness can blow me.

I also feel like I need help at school and I’m not sure who to ask/how to ask/when to say no.  I don’t really want to get into it for sake of my professional reputation but I feel super stressed out, and instead of staying at school to get shit done, I go home. 

This week I have choral union practice from 7-9:30 every night and Thurs. is the performance (Handel’s Messiah).  I’m supposed to have meetings tomorrow after school, Wed. after school and Thurs. after school.  Can’t make the one Thurs. because call time for the concert is 6:15, it’s half an hour away, and there will prob. be a lot of traffic so I’ll have to leave prob. around 5, 5:15.

Sorry, I am totally venting, but I kind of don’t care b/c I need an outlet and I can’t call my best friend b/c everything I tell her my roommate will hear and we don’t need that.  Now.  And I can’t go work out or anything b/c I don’t have a gym membership yet.  Just……..so many things to do/think about/plan for/think about/think about/think about….

And the cherry on top of that shit pile of shit is that I get my wisdom teeth taken out Friday and will not be able to do anything for a long time.