This Is a Really Great Song
Have you ever actually listened to all of the words in “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch”?
You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You’re as cuddly as a cactus
And as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch!
You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel!
You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch!
Your heart’s an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders.
You’ve got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch!
I wouldn’t touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!
You’re a vile one, Mr. Grinch!
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch!
Given the choice between the two of you, I’d take the seasick crocodile!
You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch!
You’re a nasty, wasty skunk!
Your heart is full of unwashed socks.
Your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Grinch!
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote,
“Stink, stank, stunk!”
You’re a rotter, Mr. Grinch!
You’re the king of sinful sots!
Your heart’s a dead tomato,
Splotched with moldy, purple spots, Mr. Grinch!
Your soul is an appalling dump-heap,
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
Assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled-up in tangled-up knots!
You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch!
With a nauseous super naus!
You’re a crooked jerky jockey,
And you drive a crooked hoss, Mr. Grinch!
You’re a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich
With arsenic sauce!