And I Wonder...

Apologies for the last post, I really need to stop doing that.  It’s almost the equivalent of, but not quite as dangerous as, the “drunk text”.  B/c you can always delete a drunk post (but why would you when they’re usually so pathetic/funny?), but you cannot, I repeat, CANNOT delete a drunk text.  I have been both an instigator and a victim of the drunk text.  No matter what, it’s always awkward the next day.

Anyway, this post is not about being drunk.  Well, not REALLY.  This post is about my adventures yesterday/last night. 

Yesterday I saw Harry Potter!  It was a pretty emotional experience for me, surprisingly.  Let me explain some back story on my relationship with Harry Potter.  I am a huge fan.  I started reading them in…6th grade?  7th grade?  One of the two.  Anyway, I have read and re-read these books.  I have gone to Borders’s/Barnes & Noble’s midnight release parties to purchase books 4 - 7.  I have gone to the midnight showings of the movies starting with Goblet of Fire.  I have dressed up…more than once.  I have driven about 100 miles to go see the midnight showing of Half Blood Prince at the one theater I know that has a HUGE mega screen.  I LOVE Harry Potter.  But for some reason, with the release of this last movie, I was not as excited.  I think this is because the whole midnight showing didn’t work with everyone’s plans.  When you graduate college, sometimes you have to make sacrifices and start being more realistic with your time and expectations.  When you’re 23, sometimes you can’t see Harry Potter at midnight.  So needless to say, this whole growing up thing is already crushing my soul, and the fact that no one wanted to/could go at midnight even further dampened my spirits surrounding the Harry Potter mania.  In addition, I usually reread the books before the movie comes out, but for HP 7.2, I did not.  I DID read through half of the SparkNotes summaries, which got me a little more excited, but I still didn’t remember all of the details.  One could say that my attitude going into the theater was “indifferent.”

However.  (Caution: some HP spoilers.  If you haven’t read the books by now I think you’re crazy, but I’m just warning you)  Not even half an hour into the movie I felt like sobbing.  They did such a good job w/this movie, it brought me back 4 years ago to the last time I read the book.  I remember actually weeping when I read the book.  Not just a few tears, people.  Full on hysterics.  Crying so hard that you’re gasping for air and making weird noises.  You know what I mean.  I really do love Harry Potter, and J.K. Rowling is such a talented writer that she is able to make people really connect with her characters.  When people die, it’s like your own family members die.  When Harry triumphs over evil, you are right there with him celebrating.  And the last scene before the epilogue was just so…emotional.  It was closure.  Not only for the series, but, in a strange way, it seemed to signify the end of my childhood/adolescence.  It’s hard to explain, but I was about 12 when I started reading the books.  Now that all of the books have been written and released, and all of the movies have come out, I am 23 years old.  That’s 11 years of my life that Harry Potter has been around.  And obviously, the books will always be around and the same for the movies, but never again will I feel that same excitement I felt waiting at midnight in Borders dressed up as Hermione for the release of a book.  There’s no more to the story.  It’s finished.  Sure, when I have children in the future they will read Harry Potter.  But it will not mean as much to them as it did to me, eagerly anticipating the next book/movie.  They will not be a part of the process.  They will never understand the deep connection I have with the series.  It’s really strange to think about, but there’s comfort in what’s familiar.  And now that I’m treading in uncharted territory so to speak, I would enjoy a little bit of familiarity, something that unites strangers.  Something I felt the Harry Potter series did.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that seeing Harry Potter and dwelling on the theme of closure enhanced what I’ve already been experiencing in my life.  Which is weird to think about starting a new job as closure.  Wouldn’t you think that it would mean a new beginning?  And it is, but I’d be lying to people and myself if I didn’t say that I’m going to miss my childhood.  I’m out in the real world now.  This is it.  I’m away from my family, and some friends, and now I have to start a new life for myself.  It’s the scariest damn thing I’ve ever experienced.  No longer can I hide under the title of “student.”  I’m on the other side of the desk now, and I am in charge of people, and no one is there to tell me how to live my life.  I have to figure it out on my own.

Ok.  Now for the not so emotional part.  Ha.

Last night I went out to a comedy club with my friend Ashley, who went to high school with me.  She won free tickets for up to 15 people, but only about 5 of us could go.  It wasn’t bad, a little strange because I only knew her, but the comedians were hilarious and the fries I ordered were delicious.  We both got strawberry margaritas, which the waitress told us were strong.  Because I wanted to be able to drive home (about a 40 minute drive), I didn’t want to drink too much, but figured one mixed drink early in the night would wear off by the time I had to get behind the wheel.  Well.  The waitress lied.  It tasted like Kool-Aid.  I mean, it was tasty, but not worth the $5.50 I paid for it!  After the show we went to another bar down the street that is kind of a small place but there’s no cover.  This bar is known for their martinis, which are so good and so cheap.  The thing I don’t like about small-ish bars is there’s usually not a lot of eye-candy.  Also, it’s hard to hear people talking because the music is up so loud.  And that’s if you’re sober(ish).  If you’re drunk, forget about hearing anything.  Just forget conversations even exist, because you’re not part of one.  Honestly, sometimes I prefer no conversations, just dancing.  I mean, if the music is gonna be up that loud, why am I not shaking my ass on the dance floor?  Maybe I just haven’t gotten the whole “bar scene” thing figured out, but I’m much more likely to come in contact w/a member of the opposite sex grinding on me at a club than I am sitting at a table drinking beer at a bar.  However, that usually ends up w/the dude telling me he’ll get a hotel room and then being super creepy about getting my number.  No thanks, I don’t feel like getting raped tonight.  So I guess it’s a good thing we didn’t go dancing b/c that means I didn’t order 2 or 3 Red Bull vodkas and I’m not feeling like puking out the car window.

It was a pretty chill night, not a lot happened, but that’s ok.  I decided to stay the night at Ashley’s NOT because I was drunk, (b/c I really wasn’t) but b/c I didn’t really want to drive all the way back home at 1:30 in the morning.  When we got back to her place, we stayed up til about 4:30am just talking, catching up.  We used to be pretty good friends in high school but she went to a different college.  Now she’s made her way to my neck of the woods and it’s interesting to hear what she’s been up to.  I definitely didn’t wake up until about 11 and actually felt like I had a hangover, but I think it was just the staying up late part.  So today, let me tell ya - today is a very lazy day.  And that’s totally ok with me.  :)